The Smoke Theory of Electric Circuits
or Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
Positive ground depends upon proper circuit functioning, the transmission
of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known
as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work; we
know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of the
electrical system, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly
through empirical testing.
When, for example, the smoke escapes from an electrical component (i.e.,
say, a Lucas voltage regulator), it will be observed that the component
stops working. The function of the wire harness is to carry the smoke from
one device to another; when the wire harness "springs a leak", and lets
all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards. Starter motors
were frowned upon in British Automobiles for some time, largely because
they consume large quantities of smoke, requiring very large wires.
It has been noted that Lucas components are possibly more prone to
electrical leakage than Bosch or generic Japanese electrics. Experts
point out that this is because Lucas is British and all things British
leak. British engines leak oil, shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk
brakes leak fluid, British tyres leak air and the British defense
establishment leaks secrets...so, naturally, British electrics leak smoke.
When wires smoke, how come the smoke is not the same color as the wire?
This is not completely true. When the smoke is in the wire, it is under
pressure (called voltage). The pressure difference causes the color to
change from the normal color we are used to. Not unlike the blood in
our veins and arteries changing color due to the oxygen content. When
the smoke escapes the wire and is exposed to air, the pressure is
released, and the color reverts back to what we commonly recognize as
smoke. The wire then changes to the color of the smoke that escaped.
I would only question the last sentence of that description. It has
been my experience that the wire turns a color directly oposite of the
Not always true, I think it must depend on the composition of the smoke
I should have made it a little clearer; the color the wire becomes, is
directly proportional to the escape velocity of the smoke. Higher
velocities generate higher heat. This heat tends to burn the wire and
affect the coloring. The statement was meant to be a generalization,
indicating the fact that the color of the wire does infact change.
Sorry for the miscomunication.
I was speaking of electrcal smoke which is generally white. The spent
smoke casing generally assumes a color somewhat near black after the
I can't stand it anymore! If, as you say, light bulbs suck up darkness
and convert it to smoke which is transmitted (via wire) to a power
source for recycling...why do car batteries go dead when lights are
left on? Do car batteries (and flashlight batteries for that matter)
have a limited amount of storage capability? Is it like a hard drive
that gets so full that you have to double-space and then lose all
Now you're getting it.......
I thought you guys were smarter than this. Of course the battery stores
the smoke. In fact it can store so much smoke that if you open the top
and light a match, the resulting explosion can do serious damage. I'm
sure you are aware that usually where there's smoke there's fire. If
you connect the battery to a charger, the smoke is then returned to the
wire (Remember, a light bulb wont work unless it is connected to a wire
system) for the utility companies to use. Your hard drive analogy is a
very good example.
Our hardware guys might be onto something in their quest for superior
wiring. I have noticed the unique method of of series/parallel wiring
the power strips on our systems seems to prevent the smoke from getting
out of the wires. A "Smoke Loop" of sorts. In the case of the "smoked"
workstation recently, you should notice that this was a conventional
single power strip installation.
Since color is percieved by the cone shaped receptors in our eyes, and
cones require more light that their rod shaped counterparts. Is the sky
blue at night?
At night the process including contraction of the pupil is visual
purple by which the eye adapts to conditions of increased illumination
when facing 300 candle power redeflecting devices.
Since there is a spectrum of light that we as humans cannot see, I
support the theory that everything is going up in smoke, we just can't
see it. This may explain why the neighbors dog barks for no apparant
I think your basic understanding of smoke systems is remarkable.
However I find a flaw with your theory. The battery is a reusable
storage device for smoke. therefore, one would assume that some sort of
one way valve (we can call it a diode) should be needed to prevent
pressure flooding back into the system while at rest. Unlike the A/C
system, the smoke system is collecting darkness at the headlights and
converting it to smoke. This causes the system to fill up. The battery
can contain much higher pressures and volumes than the wires. If this
pressure exceeds the capacity of the wire, it will cause a rupture as
you described. The rupture can be controlled by a sacraficial device
known as a fuse. But this still doesn't eliminate the problem. Perhaps a
two way valve (zener diode) is used to allow a small amount of pressure
to return to the system, and partially equalize. I find this theory
unlikely though, due to the increase in the force required to start the
pump (which is now under pressure) working again...
The smoke continues circulating through the system, due to the pressure
differential in the battery (smoke pressure/vacuum reservoir). When the
reservoir becomes depleted, the pressure simply equalizes everywhere in
the system (similar to an A/C system when it's turned off) and stuff
just wont work. Notice the relations: Work (W) = Force (F) x Distance
(D); Force (F) = total difference in pressure (Dp) x Area (A).
Therefore, the work done in a pressure system is: Dp x A x D. If the
pressure differential (Dp) is reduced to zero then W = 0 x A x D = 0.
The smoke only escapes the wires when a path is created between the
pressure differential areas (@ either the reservoir or the pump) that
has too little restriction. When this happens, the smoke travels
through the wires so fast that the friction between the smoke and the
outer walls of the wiring heats the wires until they rupture. The smoke
continues to escape until its pressure is equalized with the
atmosphere, or until the conduit that provides the path between
pressure areas is severed. When this happens, the sudden drop in
pressure allows the wires to "collapse" slightly and, being soo hot, as
the edges of the ruptures and severed ends touch, the material becomes
fused, sealing the system and retaining the remaining smoke.
Don't forget, when the system is at rest, all the valves, (switches and
relays) are closed, keeping the pressure areas separated. When
restarting the pump, as long as everything is OK, the smoke pressure is
equal on both sides of the pump and there is no net force on the pump
when it begins operating again. Also, within the pump there are
pressure/volume actuated one-way valves with restrictors built in,
arranged in such a way that they keep excess smoke volume recirculating
through an integral smoke loop, which maintains the pressure within
The excess smoke, created by the light/smoke converters
(headlights and other darkness absorbing devices), is changed
back to darkness and dissipated in small unit concentrations so
its dark effect is not locally observed. The smoke pump
impeller (stator), converts smoke into magnetic flux which does
work on the engine. Some of the excess work energy is
dissipated through the cooling system and exhaust in the form
of heat, while the remaining work energy is converted back to
smoke and distributed evenly in small concentrations as you
drive. This maintains the total quantity of smoke in the system
at an average that does not change over time.
shamelessly stolen from the British Car list of the late 1980's or early 1990's (I forget when)...
Note: NOS Smoke has been successfully solld on eBay to those discerning buyers who wish to go for the real, authentic, 100 point concours restoration. This is an example of a common eBay Auction of NOS Smoke.